Staying In The Day
I thought I’d focus this week’s blog on the importance of staying in the day, which helps keep us grounded. Being where we are right now at this moment.
I need to remind myself to use this tool more than ever, given our present circumstances. We are in that ‘no man’s land’ of moving home from Bristol to Brecon. We have no choice but to sit and wait whilst the solicitors do their stuff, and the wheels grind slowly forward inch by inch. There is little, if any, certainty in this process. So staying in the day becomes imperative for my well-being.
My mind is whirring with all the ‘what ifs’ and a massive feeling of overwhelm. I am so unused to being this out of control. I look around me at all the packing that needs to be done very soon and the upheaval this will create and my mind goes into overdrive. For my sanity, I need to bring myself back to this present moment; stay in the day and just move forward - one step at a time.
When we become engulfed by doubts and fears, about what might happen tomorrow, next week, next month, we can so easily lose sight of what is happening today. Our minds catapult into the future and we would benefit from remembering that projections can damage our health.
‘When Overwhelmed Simplify.’ I carry this simple yet significant message around with me in my purse, written on a card, and reflect on it as often as I remember. This says to me – slow down, take stock & just do one thing at a time. Focus my full awareness on what I am doing now, and nothing else. Stay present in this day. Slowly my panic subsides & I move forward, one step at a time, with more serenity as a result.
Whenever you catch yourself feeling overwhelmed, when your mind is churning with all of the possibilities that might happen, it’s best to stop for a moment. Remind yourself to breathe, and take one step, one task, one day at a time. Remembering this removes the burdens of the past from our backs and keeps us from dreading the future, which none of us can know anyway.
Worries and fear can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality, twisting difficult situations into nightmares. Because most worry focuses on the future, if we can learn to stay in the present, living one day, one moment at a time, we take positive steps toward warding off the effects of fear.
None of us can know what tomorrow will bring.
Try gently reassuring yourself when the fears come that your best hope is every bit as likely to occur as your worst fear, so you have no reason to give more weight to your negative assumptions.
‘What Ifs’ can seriously damage your health, as a result of the stress they create. Mine run something like this at the moment - What if this doesn’t work out? What if the house buyers pull out? What if the house sellers change their mind? And on and on relentlessly wearing me down.
With every negative fear, I do my best to counteract these thoughts with an opposite optimistic outcome. ‘All shall be well’ sums this up. This will go smoothly. And moving day will come soon enough.
Projecting into the future & trying to imagine what might happen is a recipe for overwhelm. The future, even as close as tomorrow, is a closed book. We cannot know what it holds, and the more we look for disaster, the more we invite it.
We can remind ourselves of the serenity prayer - to accept the things we cannot change; find the courage to change the things we can; and have the wisdom to know the difference. Take action on the things that are in our control and let go of the rest.
For a calmer life, we can do our best to stay in the day and not tackle all our problems at once.
Keep our eyes on the road in front of us. Keep our passion burning and the world changes as we move forward one step at a time, with patience and faith.
Author of memoir ‘Wearing Red, One Woman’s Journey to Sanity.’
Available from www.amazon.co.uk and www.browndogbooks.uk