Resolving Unhelpful Thoughts and Beliefs
Our thoughts play an important role in what we believe about ourselves; what we feel and what we do. When we have a lot of unhelpful thoughts, we begin to believe they are true.
We can make our beliefs work for us. We can interrupt our unhelpful thought patterns and replace them with more empowering ones. This is a way of taking care of our own mental health and wellbeing.
We carry our beliefs around with us wherever we go. We can decide which of them we want to keep because they support us, and which ones to discard because they are no longer useful.
Beliefs are not facts. They are emotionally held opinions that we take to be true and that can determine our subsequent actions.
The first step in resolving unhelpful thoughts is to identify our limiting beliefs. Listen for the critical things that you think you know are true about yourself.
They often go like this –
I am too old to do that
I can never stick to exercising
I am a loser - nothing goes right for me
I can never make my mind up
This always happens to me.
The second step is to think about each limiting belief and ask yourself where this has come from. The references that have been said to you or about you by others, that helped you become certain about this belief.
Third step is to search for all the contrary evidence you can find to prove to yourself that this belief is not necessarily true. Write down all your answers to each step, as this helps with the reflection.
Fourth step is to reframe those beliefs that no longer serve you. Take each one in turn and replace it with a more empowering belief, which creates an alternative, positive viewpoint.
Here is a list of questions that you can work through to assist you in resolving unhelpful thoughts that develop into critical beliefs about yourself.
What are your limiting beliefs?
Which one do you think has the most influence over you?
What evidence do you have that makes you believe this to be true?
What is the payoff for hanging onto this limiting belief – how does it keep you stuck?
What evidence do you have to convince yourself that this belief is not necessarily true?
What would be a more empowering belief that could replace your old belief?
What evidence do you have to support your new empowering belief?
What could you do differently to integrate this new empowering belief into your life?
Working through these questions can help you to recognise the old pattern, interrupt it and break it, and then replace it with your empowering belief.
I like to carry cards with me that contain the new encouraging beliefs so that I can constantly remind myself of who I am becoming.
As soon as you decide to change, you give yourself the freedom to choose and to enjoy energising beliefs and behaviours.
We carry our beliefs around with us like baggage. We need to decide which ones we want to keep because they support us and which ones to discard because they no longer have any use. This is a way in which we can make meanings that work for us.
It can take years to develop a limiting belief. So, changing this will take practice, persistence and determination. My message to you is keep at this process of resolving unhelpful thoughts and beliefs. It does work.
Author of memoir, ‘Wearing Red – One Woman’s Journey to Sanity.’
Available from www.amazon.co.uk and www.browndogbooks.uk