Gaining More Confidence

Our lives are affected by the choices we make. And our choices are in turn affected by  the level of confidence we hold in our own abilities.

There is a theory that confidence is innate and is always within us. It’s just that it becomes clouded by our lack of self-belief and feelings of not being good enough.

Things always seem to come back to this point.

Our feelings are caused by our thoughts about events, rather than the events themselves. And our beliefs make us feel the way we do about an event.

I am still working at marketing my book,’ Wearing Red- One Woman’s Journey to Sanity,’ which is harder than writing the book itself. I have yet to organise a presentation or radio interview about the book, because I hold the conviction that I can no longer deliver an engaging talk. In other words I lack the self- belief, and I am holding myself back. It is my self- limiting thoughts that are preventing me from moving forward.

The rewards of public speaking are massive. I wrote the book to support others to show that it is possible to survive tragic circumstances, to come out the other side, and create a life of integrity, dignity and self-respect. 

I can offer hope, reassurance and guidance to anyone struggling with their own mental health. Simply because I have been there and have created a thriving life for myself against the odds. The more people I tell about this, the more people will benefit from the story. I have been told this by many individuals who have read the book.

Confidence is the ability to be certain about one’s capabilities. Confidence empowers action. The time has come for me to believe that I can do this and that the anticipated outcome will happen. I intend to take action despite my anxiety and insecurities.

I have no evidence for the limiting belief that I cannot engage an audience. Quite the contrary. Over the years, I have delivered many rousing speeches and have been congratulated on my power, enthusiasm and clarity.

I can be confident and anxious at the same time. The important thing is that I take that first step to conquering the fear, and start saying yes to speaking opportunities.

Ian Robertson, a clinical psychologist has written a book, called ‘How confidence works’ in which he explores the science of self-belief. He says that the brain works in such a way that believing you can do something stimulates the feel good activity in the brain, and you’re more likely to achieve that thing because your mood is lifted.

I have taken that first step and have said yes recently to three public talks about the book. I am just waiting on the dates to be confirmed. I am taking action and will let you know how I get on. Watch this space.

It is crucial that I believe I am enough and that I am a fallible human being. I do not have to be perfect. Just good enough. I also need to let go of the outcomes. I will do my best and put myself out there. I am doing what Susan Jeffers said all those years ago – feel the fear and do it anyway. I can call on my inner strength and jump into the unknown with confidence.

Each of us creates our own reality. What we make of our lives is up to us. It is not our external resources that determine our success or failure but our own belief in ourselves. We can learn courage by taking that leap of faith and take action.

I shall feed my mind with more confident instructions and say to myself on a regular basis “ I am a phenomenal speaker.” I need some of those positive affirmations. I’ll write some of those in my blog next week.

Remember what Goethe said  

“ Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

Author of memoir, ‘Wearing Red, One Woman’s Journey to Sanity’

Available at www.amazon.co.uk and www.browndogbooks.uk