Honouring Your Life
On the writing for wellbeing course that I am facilitating, I have been struck by how hard people find it to validate themselves and honour their own lives. So, how can we make this easier for ourselves?
One way is to remind ourselves that we all make a difference in the world by the very virtue of our existence.
Do you remember the film ‘ It’s a Wonderful Life’ in which George Bailey is guided by his trainee guardian angel, Clarence, to value and honour the life he has currently?
In the film he gets the chance to witness what life would be like for others, if he had never been born. He gets the opportunity to appreciate the difference he has made throughout his life, by virtue of his very existence & small acts of kindness to others. And mostly to appreciate all that he has in his life currently - exactly the way it is.
We can spend a lot of time regretting all the things we haven’t done, or feel sad and resentful at all the opportunities we’ve missed, or generally miserable because life hasn’t turned out the way we wanted it to.
So, if we were able to experience a similar opportunity as George Bailey had in the film, this would give us a chance to turn our own thinking around and look at our current life with fresh eyes.
What I suggest you do is imagine what your world would be like if you had never been born. Your life has touched others in many unique ways so start remembering some of them.
I suggest you write down your reflections on each of the following points.
Reflect on the lives of your family, friends, community, environment etc. and imagine what would be missing for others and your community if you had never been born?
What would have been different if you hadn’t made the contribution you did by the virtue of your very existence and your very own small acts of everyday kindness?
Remember this is an opportunity for you to honour the difference you have made to others & your environment. A way of saying to yourself: I matter. I make a difference in this world.
So, avoid negative responses, such as – they wouldn’t have noticed, or they would have bought those wonderful guitars from someone else.
Making a self validation list is another way of honouring our own lives. You can do this by making a list of all the things you currently have in your life that you value and want to strengthen as you move forward.
This is a way of acknowledging what we do have rather than focusing on what we consider to be missing in our lives. We can then learn to live more joyously in the present.
Here are some other tips and affirmations to help validate your own existence:
Keep a daily Wonder book. Each night list 5 things of wonder that have happened in your life this day, that you can marvel at.
Become aware of your own limits. Remind yourself to say ‘When.’ When to say enough. When to say ‘No.’ When to rest.
Accept that there is nothing wrong with you. Refuse to see yourself as a ‘mad, bad, or sad case.’ You are uniquely different and there is no other like you.
Remember that you always have a choice no matter what the circumstances.
Remind yourself that lasting change doesn’t happen in a flash. Progress happens in small steps, moment by moment.
Learn to take your own place in your own life.
Each day do at least one thing that makes you feel good.
These are all tips to help you acknowledge, appreciate and be proud of how much you have already achieved and want to hold onto. All methods of proclaiming, endorsing & validating – look how far I’ve come along this journey.
In other words, they are all ways to honour your own life.
““The whole purpose of existence is to be a passionate lover of life.” ”
Author of memoir, ‘Wearing Red, One Woman’s Journey to Sanity.’
Available at www.amazon.co.uk and www.browndogbooks.uk