Handling What Life Throws At Us (Part Two)

Accepting Change

Accepting change in our lives is very difficult and there is no easy answer. As this is such an important area, I’ve dedicated two weeks of my blog to explore how we can best handle what life throws at us. This is Part Two.

Change is the  only constant in our lives, yet we find unwelcome shifts in our circumstances uncomfortable and unsettling. We want to hold onto the familiar - the way things were. But we cannot go backwards. The only choice we have is to step forward and accept that things are going to be rough for a while.

Handling what life throws at us requires a lot of letting go of the way we want things to be and doing our best to accept the way things are.

For those of us, like myself, who live with extreme mood swings, it is so important to learn to accept change. We have no choice other than come to terms with the constant shift in attitudes and energy.

Some days I am bursting with vitality and the outlook is good for the time ahead. There is a sense of well-being with the world. Then comes the downwards swing, when I can feel unable to face the demands of the day ahead, lethargic and lifeless.

I have had to practice the art of acceptance re the changes in mood that the days bring.

I prefer to feel enthusiastic and full of zest for living, yet I have to face the reality that this too shall pass. A low follows the high as sure as the tide ebbs and flows.

We can all benefit from finding a way to come to terms with the vicissitudes of life and make peace with the way things are, right here, right now.

It is often not the situation itself that causes the tension and discomfort when facing change, but how we are handling the resistance in wanting things to be different than they are.

Change is disturbing when the unfamiliar feels risky and fearful. Acceptance of what is happening comes as a process of letting go of the familiar and allowing ourselves time to grieve the unwanted changes we are facing. This can open up the space for new things to emerge.

Acceptance of changes that occur in our lives becomes easier when we are able to allow ourselves to be exactly where we are at any given moment. My experience tells me that things seem to have a way of working out despite the odds and unpredictability.

The ‘WHAT IF’ tool that I have mentioned in a previous blog is a useful tool to use when facing unwelcome change. We can terrify ourselves with our vivid imagination of the worst things that might happen, when we say what if to ourselves -

What if we don’t find a suitable house and become homeless? How will we cope?

My suggestion is to flip the coin, by creating the opposite, and putting a positive outcome into your mind:-

What if we do find a better house that meets all of our criteria? How brilliant is that?

This tool can be gently reassuring that your best intention is every bit as likely to occur than all your disaster thoughts that flood your mind when facing change.

So why do we waste precious energy fearing the worst possible outcome?

The other tool that I use a lot is chanting the word - POWERLESS when the fear comes up. To know that we are powerless over people, places and things can bring a welcome air of acceptance over changes happening in our lives.

We simply cannot fight change. If we can learn to adjust to the shifts in our lives that happen, despite our plans, we have an easier ride.

After the necessary period of adjustment, do your best to be open to the experience of accepting change and handling what life throws at you . Then life becomes more comfortable.

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining, is to let it rain.”

 Henry Wadsworth Longfellow