Let The Worry Go
This day is precious. So why do we waste so many hours worrying about what has happened or what might happen in the future, rather than focusing on what is actually happening in this day?
A very good question that often requires my attention. I have to admit that I spend a lot of time worrying. Sometimes it’s about what happened yesterday, or in my childhood, or what is going to happen tomorrow. Other times, it’s about the events that are taking place in my daughters’ lives.
I could continue with this pattern of worrying which achieves nothing except for tangling up my mind and affecting my own well-being. Or I could make a decision to try a different way.
One technique I use that seems to work, is to postpone the ‘worry time’ as a way of blocking the flow of anxiety. Try allocating a specific ‘worry time’ in the day, say 5p.m., for a ten-minute slot. Then during the day write your worrying thoughts down on a ‘worry list.’ When you return to the ‘worry list’ at the allotted time i.e., 5p.m. the issues often seem less daunting. They can lose some of their power and become more manageable as a result.
I can sometimes carry this burden of anxiety around on my back, dragging the past around with me in a big sack that becomes heavier each day I open it. I forget that I could if I wanted to, let the worry go today. I could just lay the sack down – just for this day and do my best to concentrate on the joy that can become buried.
I could simply relax, breathe out and remember what my first sponsor wisely told me. Despite all the worrying and fretting and constant regurgitating over things that have already happened, or might happen, about which I can do nothing, one fact remains constant in my life. The sun always comes up in the morning.
Even when we can’t see it because of the cloud cover, the sun is there shining away. It moves across the sky regardless of what I am so concerned about and it disappears out of view in the evening.
The Navajo American Indians teach their children that the sun only has one day as each day it is a brand-new sun. It is born again each morning, living for the duration of just one day – 24 hours – and in the evening it passes on, never to return. They tell their children that they must live this day in the best way possible, so that the sun has not wasted its precious time.
In the 12 step programmes, we can buy a pocket size ‘Just for Today’ wallet card that gives us a blueprint for the day. It’s published by the General Service Board of Alcoholics Anonymous, and starts with the words:
“Just for today, I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. “.
A lovely reminder of how we can switch our mindset from one of worry and disapproval or despair to one of acceptance of what is and not how we would rather have things be.
In the film, ‘Bridge of Spies,’ the character played by Mark Rylance was facing what potentially was a dangerous situation. As he appeared to be extremely calm awaiting his fate, he was asked:
‘Aren’t you worried?’ He replied ‘Why? Would it help?’
Worrying about what might happen or what has happened changes nothing. If you can take some action to change a situation, you’re not happy with then take that step. Otherwise, what’s the point of worrying if the outcome of the event is not in your control.
Letting go of the worry time, simply putting the sack of worry down for a while, by keeping things in the day and postponing the worry time certainly helps me with my anxiety.