Change Your Perspective

(I just want to let you know that I will be writing my blogs every 2 weeks from now on. This will give me more time to choose inspirational topics)

I’ve been through a period recently when my projections have been harbingers of doom. Thinking of things that could go wrong and wondering how I’d cope.

This means that I’ve been focusing on what might happen in the future, rather than staying in the present moment.

We can terrify ourselves with vivid imaginations of what might happen, usually involving gloom and disaster. Endless internal ‘what if’ chatter becomes an unhelpful fear trap.

I would like the words ‘What if’ to be banned from the English language. 

What if this doesn’t work out?

What if people think I’m incapable?

What if my anxiety returns?

What if the day goes horribly wrong?

The suggestion seems to be that we will not be able to cope/survive if these things happen. Worries and fears can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality, twisting difficult situations into nightmares. The tool that I use at such times is to apply the ‘What if’ projections in a different way by flipping the coin, creating the opposite, to counteract the disaster thoughts:

What if this works out OK?

What if people value my contribution?

What if I remain confident?

What if the day goes well?

Changing my perspective in this way, can act as a reminder that I have no control over the future. All I can do is plan my intention, and let go of the outcome, rather than focus on potential outcomes that may or may not happen.

This can be gently reassuring that our best hope is every bit as likely to occur as our worst fear. So why waste precious life energy fearing the worst that might happen?

If we apply the second, positive ‘What If’ exercise above, we can imagine the possibility of a more optimistic outcome rather than projecting disaster. This stops us wasting precious energy in worry and stress. We are reminded that things can work out OK.

I wrote this poem as a reminder to myself that things can work out well against the odds:

AGAINST THE ODDS by Eva Melissa Roshan 

Sometimes –
the rain stops for the ceremony.
The last bus waits for the latecomer.
The train arrives early
and the roads are clear for the urgent appointment.

Sometimes
people turn away from conflict.
Youngsters offer support to those older.
Receiving becomes a pleasure, not a weakness.
And the ‘best laid schemes of mice and men’ go well. 

Sometimes
we reach through our isolation
to find comfort in each other.
We remember that a simple hug or smile
can warm the human heart. And we connect because we care.

And with these sometimes
just maybe a world can emerge:
where difference is welcome
and the unusual becomes the norm.

where all of us, can claim our place
and things do not always turn from bad to worse,
where these things happen
against the odds.

Sometimes I have made assumptions about how people felt about me from a look they gave me. I imagine a scenario that they dislike me, or I have upset them in some way. Most of the time, my projections are incorrect. It turns out that there is no issue, except for the perspective I’ve created in my mind.

Once when a colleague ignored me in the street, even though I was smiling at them, I imagined that they were snubbing me because they were displeased with me. Later when I checked out if my perception was correct, I realised that they had not even seen me because they were not wearing their glasses.

What if we didn’t fret about imagined scenarios?  What if we were able to change our perspective when negative projections turn up in our minds?

Surely, we would all be much more content with life as it is.

Author of ‘Wearing Red, One Woman’s Journey to Sanity’

Available from www.browndogbooks.uk (paperback) and www.amazon.co.uk (e-book)