Being in The Moment

I often wonder how we would be in the world if we could accept things just as they are, right now in this moment. What if we could live our lives moment by moment rather than focusing on what happened in the past and what might happen in the future?

All I know is that when I allow myself to live intentionally moment by moment, I become unconditionally ok in my own skin no matter what is going on in my life. I trust my own experience more, as I develop a more mindful way of being in the world.

These thoughts have been sparked by the doorstop of a book I’m reading by Jon Kabat-Zinn, ‘Full catastrophe Living’ – how to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulness meditation.

There are enough brilliant, practical tips in here to keep my blogs going for the next few months.

It is reminding me that using mindfulness – the art of being in the moment- is about developing emotional balance, self-compassion, and “a willingness to drop in on yourself.”

The joy of living more in the present moment – this for me is acceptance of ‘what is’ in my life rather than how I would wish things to be.

I am a bit of a control freak and like to know what is happening in my life, rather than going with the flow. I often spend many frustrated moments wanting to change events, wishing my life away.  All to no avail. Then eventually I remember to come back into myself and this present moment, shift my perspective and my well-being returns.

The simple act of focusing on my breathing – breathing out stress and breathing in calmness – can allow my obsession with ‘what ifs’ to dissipate and sanity returns.

For me, I find that becoming an observer of myself helps me to stay in the present moment of being rather than doing. In this way I can stay awake and aware of what is happening around and inside myself.

I use the mantra – What am I doing right now, right here?  Am I in the present moment, or the past or future. In this way I can bring myself back into a balanced state of mind.

Kabat-Zinn recommends that we try not to mistake our thoughts for the truth of things and become less susceptible to getting caught up in the emotional storms that knock us off balance.

The important thing about this being in the moment stuff is not to beat ourselves up when we find ourselves far away in the past or present.

It’s like meditation. The more we become aware of what is happening and how we have disappeared into the maelstrom of distress – then the more we become able to bring ourselves back into this present moment and restore our equilibrium.

It’s not what happens to us in life that causes us so much grief but simply how we interpret it. In simple terms, our thoughts influence our emotions, which influences our behaviour.

There is a power in the written word, which can challenge this process. When an issue is disturbing our emotions, write out the event with the detail of what has actually happened, and how you reacted. Reflect in the writing how your mind has become emotionally disturbed and how your thinking has become distorted.

This allows you to clear the distress from your head and get it all down on paper.

Your mind will clear the more you write it out and you will be able to return to being in the present moment.

Paying attention in this loving and compassionate way allows us to stay awake to what is actually happening in our lives. Not the doing but the being of life.

We can remind ourselves over and over that ‘what is happening is what is happening’ and we can learn to let that be our reality. 

Author of ‘Wearing Red, One Woman’s Journey to Sanity’

Available from www.browndogbooks.uk (paperback) and www.amazon.co.uk (e-book)