Be Where You Are

Be where you are. Right here. Right now.

Accepting what is – this is the key to the way forward. Not dwelling on how I would like things to be.

One step at a time. One day at a time. This is how everything is achieved. No matter how big or small the task ahead, we simply get through most things by taking one step at a time.

Our house moving chain may be falling through. We will know in a few days. This is now out of my hands. I will be where I am, no matter that I would like to change this situation.

I want to move to this new home in Brecon. I want to be close to my family in Brecon.

I don’t want this to be happening. Yet I know that the outcome is not in my control. 

I can only control myself in this moment. My perceptions in this moment. My emotions in this moment.

As most of you know I have extreme mood swings – if you want to attach a label – I have bi-polar II. I am currently very low and I do not want to feel like this. But feel like this I do. All I can do is let go of wanting things to be different.

We are faced with testing events. Obstacles that seem insurmountable. Yet by taking one step forward at a time, we have no choice but to confront these hurdles and wait to come out the other side.

I keep returning to this wise mantra – Be where you are. Take life one step at a time.

Anne Lamott refers to a time when her young brother was struggling with an assignment on birds that he had to write, due the next day. He had become paralysed by the enormity of the task ahead. His father sat down next to him and said “Bird by bird buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”

So, when we’re facing what seems like an impossible task or journey, we can remind ourselves that this is all we can do - take it ‘bird by bird,’ one step at a time. We don’t have to confront the whole difficult situation all in one go. We survive and move slowly forward by taking things one step at a time.

Sometimes, it’s difficult to face even one step at a time. Sometimes our energy tank is empty. We have run out of resources to move forward. That’s when we need to stop for a while and practice some self-care. Be gentle and loving towards ourselves. Cut ourselves some slack and opt out for a day. Take some time out to rest, recover, and heal. Allow the energy tank to refill and renew our strength before we face the day once more.

I am currently watching Wimbledon as my escape plan. Thank goodness for tennis.

Then when I’ve recovered some equilibrium, I can continue with my seven-step guide to life:

1.    Be where you are and remember to breathe.( as above)

2.    Keep going forward one step at a time. (as above)

3.    Do what you can gracefully. I will not push myself into overwhelm. Just do what I can and accept my limitations. When in doubt – do nothing until the mist has cleared.

4.    Step out in faith. We never know if the next step is a sensible one. We just have to hold onto whatever faith we can muster and when ready take that first step in the chosen direction. Believe in possibility and choices. Hold the hope.

5.    Keep looking ahead. No point in looking back. That is the past and has happened like it  or not.

6.    Expect your guides to help (real or imaginary) Remember Beatrice -  in previous blog. There is support out there in whatever field you believe in. Be this real in form of friends/ family/mentors or imaginary. It’s the expectation that creates the difference. We are not alone.

7.    And the world changes. We begin again to accept being where we have landed. A new future awaits.

Author of memoir ‘Wearing Red, One Woman’s Journey to Sanity’

Available at www.amazon.co.uk and www.browndogbooks.uk