Understanding Your Fear

Writing dialogue to diminish the fear

This writing exercise is concerned with confronting your fear, doubt or procrastination. Strong emotions that have the capacity to immobilise and confuse us. It is a useful tool to use when your mind is whirling around over a decision you need to make, or is frozen in a state of fear. At times like these, you have overwhelmed yourself with debilitating emotions that can throw you off balance and deplete your energy.

The next time you experience fear or procrastination that is holding you back from making a choice, set aside some time when you will not be disturbed (about one hour) and do this free-flow writing exercise.

I like to light a candle before I start and blow it out when I’ve finished to signal the end of this work.

Once you start, it is best not to think too much about what you are writing. Just write. Banish the critic. Keep writing. Write fast. Don’t read what you’re writing until you’ve finished. Don’t censor what you’ve written in any way.

There can be powerful messages in this kind of writing.

The idea is to have a written dialogue between the part of you that feels the fear, that I call the ‘Fear self’, and the part of you that is your inner strength and wisdom - that I call the ‘Higher Self’ or ‘Inner Wisdom Guide.’

You are giving yourself permission for this fearful part of yourself (often called a sub-personality) to find her voice and feel fully heard. You are providing her the opportunity to speak freely, without judgment, to your inner strength and wisdom guide –the all- knowing part of you.  

When the fearful part of you has had the chance to speak, then let your higher self – the wisdom, all knowing part of you, respond.  Let these inner parts of you have a dialogue together.  Let each one speak in your writing – to have their say as forcefully and expressively as they wish.  See what comes.

Before you begin writing, close your eyes and visualise your ‘Fear’ self and really make contact with her. Reassure her that you want to hear her voice and that she will be listened to and acknowledged in your writing.

Begin by allowing your higher self to ask her some questions so that she has a chance to respond in writing.

Pay attention to the way your ‘fear self’ looks & ask her if she has a name?

Then speak to her as your higher self and let her know that you want to hear from her about what her message is to you. And you want to know what she needs to reassure her.

Then let her know that she can now answer you in a written dialogue & begin your writing. Let your higher self ask your ‘fear self’ any questions that come into your mind and constantly reassure her that you are with her & will be keeping her safe.

Some question prompts from your ‘higher self’ might be:

Do you have a name?

What do you need right now to reassure you?

How would you describe yourself?

What has happened to make you feel this way?

How are you feeling?

What’s the ‘fear’ like?

What message do you have for me?

Allow your ‘higher self’ to respond to the answers as appropriate and ask additional questions that come up in the dialogue.

When the dialogue has come to an end, let her know that you appreciate how courageous your ‘Fear self’ has been and you value this time to get to know her.

Then leave your writing for a while. Afterwards, read your written dialogue through.

When you’ve had a chance to digest what you’ve written take some time to write down your answers to these reflections, as a review of the experience:

1.    What does your ‘Fear self’ look like & does she have a name?

2.    What was her message to you?

3.    What does she need to reassure her?

4.    What are you willing to do to meet her need?

5.    What did you notice about yourself whilst you were doing the writing- feelings, energy levels etc?

6.    How did you feel immediately afterwards? How do you feel now?

7.    What insights can you realise from this dialogue – what sense can you make of the messages?

8.    Have you discovered anything new about the needs of your ‘Fear’ self and how you might meet them, so she has less impact on you?

9.    What learning can you take from this process of accessing your inner selves, and how will this help you moving forward in your life?

Completing this writing dialogue can help you to step back from the intensity of the emotions. Analysing the feelings in this way, allows you to see how you have lost your power, what you can learn from this going forward and discover what you want to do differently.

A powerful tool that I use on a regular basis.