Letting Go

This is very easy to say and much harder to put into practice. ‘Letting go’ is  not the same as giving up. Giving up has a sense of failure about it, whereas ‘Letting go’ comes from a nurturing place of self-care.

If someone says to you that you need to let go because you’re becoming obsessed with a particular circumstance, you probably think to yourself : ‘ That’s all very well but how exactly do I do that. How do I just let go?’

What I’ve come to realise is that there is no one immediate action that constitutes a letting go outcome. It’s often a more gradual process of loosening your grip on a particular experience or person.

What I do when I need to let go, is to repeatedly switch my attention from the whirling thoughts, rampaging in my mind to what is happening in the here and now. At this very moment. I need to focus on the ‘What is’ rather than the ‘ what was,’ or the ‘what might be in the future.’

We are powerless over what has happened in the past. We cannot change one part of it. We can only choose how we respond in the present day.

Yes, people have harmed me in the past, as I have harmed others. Today I have a choice of letting go of all that has happened before today and do my best not to repeat hurtful actions towards others.

One of the ways I used to harm my well-being was continually feeling guilty for the past - particular events that I regret deeply. Today I am able to let go of all that happened and acknowledge that I did the best I could with the resources I had at the time.

I have done what I can to learn from my mistakes, made amends wherever possible and have committed to not repeating those actions today.

In the same way, we are powerless over what could happen in the future. We can let go of our efforts to influence the future with our expectations or projections. We take any action that we can, then focus instead on experiencing the present.

You can still have your vision and goals, doing what you need to do each day. After that you will benefit by letting go of any anticipations that your actions will turn out a particular way.

People don’t always behave the way we would like them to. We have our own opinions as to what they should be doing. Especially those who are the closest to us. If we try and influence them with our suggestions or judgements, when this is not welcome, we can cause much suffering.

Other people choose their own path and there is nothing we can do about that but let go and say some prayers. We only have the power to change this present day.

Letting go requires you to step back as you don’t have all the answers. Hold the faith and see what happens as you relinquish control over potential outcomes. Let go and surrender to the way things are at any given moment.

Letting go is not easy and I have learned the hard way by refusing to take my grip off my obsessions and suffering as a result with my over-active mind.

Practising letting go and staying in the present, has a profound effect on my mental well-being.