Relief For Desperate Times (Part Three)
We all have our rock bottom moments. Periods when life seems dull and difficult, and we need to take a break from everyday activity.
If you’re like me and experience extreme mood swings, the lows can sometimes feel insurmountable. A time to administer extra dollops of self-care and compassion. This is when I use these tools to help me re-balance and return to more of an even keel.
As there are 25 tools, I’ve spread them out over three separate, consecutive blogs.
My suggestion is that you use some of them when you’re in a dark pit and see how effective they are for you. Take what works and leave the rest. This way you can compile your own First Aid tool kit.
I know they work for me, which is the best recommendation I can give.
18. WALK ROUND THE BLOCK
If you’re up to it, shift your energy by taking a walk outside to refresh the air in your ‘bell jar’ head. Do your best to become aware of what is happening around you. Watch the people. If you’re in a park, focus on the strength of the trees.
19. THREE MINUTE MEDITATION
When you have a washing machine brain, try this 3-minute meditation that I use to calm my anxiety. Close your eyes and try to feel the sensations of the breath, as you slowly inhale and exhale. Notice what thoughts are floating around and let them come to the forefront of your mind. I call this turning towards my demons.
Then imagine this scenario. You have a bench in front of you. Welcome your anxious thoughts and invite them in to sit on the bench for a cup of tea. In your mind tell them that it’s Ok for them to be there but you’re busy right now so they should sit and enjoy the tea. You’ll be back later to show them out. Then continue your focus on breathing until the end of the 3 minutes and then return to your ‘thoughts’ sitting on the bench and show them out. Open your eyes and see how you feel.
This is a way of separating yourself from the thoughts that are bugging you and allowing yourself some welcome respite from the turmoil. It may sound a bit whacky but try it. Doing this practice regularly helps me return to an even keel.
20. USE A TARA BOX.
When you’re obsessing about something that is affecting your mood, and you don’t know what to do about it, try this. Write about what’s happening on a slip of paper. Put the piece of paper into a box and say to yourself: ‘Here, have a go at this, I could do with some help.' Then close the lid and walk away. This is another way of letting go and creating some distance.
I have a special box that I call my ‘Tara’ box (Tara is the female Buddha.) Call your box whatever you like. When I do this, I often feel a sense of relief and release, as if I’ve handed the problem over to someone else. I find that I can think more clearly and a solution sometimes comes to me. My turmoil dissipates.
21. ESCAPE TO CINEMA
If you’re up to the journey, head for your local cinema as an escape. Disappear into a different story for a couple of hours, with some coffee and chocolate or popcorn with no one to bother you. Helps to switch off and quieten the monkey mind for a while.
When I do this, the film’s story sometimes gives me insight into where I’m at, or simply provides me with welcome respite from the low mood.
22. THROW A COIN.
If your confusion is about two competing decisions and not knowing which one to
choose, find a coin. Decide on heads for one outcome, tails for the other, and tell
yourself you’ll accept whichever way it lands as your answer.
Throw the coin, but before you look at which way it’s fallen, ask yourself which way you would like it to land. Then you have an answer as to what you really want to do.
23. MEDICATION AND THERAPY.
Seeking professional support can be necessary, at certain times. Friends and fellow sufferers are great, but sometimes we need more. If the desperate feelings persist, go to your GP for some advice and possible medication. Take the medication for as long as necessary.
Ask if there is a list you could join for a free counselling service, but you may have to wait. Or if you can afford it, book some paid sessions with a counsellor/ therapist of your choice. Ask your contacts for a recommendation or use someone whom you trust.
Over the years I have found therapy to be a tremendous help in assisting me to find a way through the darkness.
24. WHEN YOU’RE FLYING
When you’re flying and feel on top of the world, invincible even, remember to leave your credit card at home. Best not to drink alcohol. It’s OK to feel close to strangers and involve them in conversation, but don’t keep touching their arm or hugging them.
And definitely don’t go to bed with them. You’ll regret this in the morning, and you’ll feel rotten.
25. WRITE A POEM
Writing a poem is a ritual
to comfort swirling minds,
offering palliative support
for turbulent emotions.
Living on the edge,
outside looking in,
a poem helps to find a place.
A firm footing.
Writing a poem offers insight
on time passed in the flash of living.
Can prise open tight circles
of whirling thoughts.
Helps find the spot
lost dreams go to rest,
Helps keep heart safe for
human interaction,
Helps soften untimely candour.
Trim thorns piercing membranes,
Helps fix punctured tyres,
Helps heal, solve, celebrate.
Cherish life as it is,
not as we would have it be.
Try it.
Write a poem.
See where you land.
(by Eva Melissa Roshan)
I hope you’ve found some of these 25 First Aid tools (written over three blogs) useful. And that you’ve been able to put your own kit together. They’ve certainly helped me find welcome relief in desperate times.
Next week I’ll return to my general well-being tool kit. My manual of self-care. The tools that help me to stay well on a daily basis.