Overcoming Indecisiveness

This week I’ve been asked to write on the subject of overcoming procrastination. As this is something we all experience at different times, finding ways round this challenging and often debilitating occurrence will be valuable for our well-being.

There are two ways of procrastinating – putting off doing tasks or putting off making decisions.  This week, I’m going to focus on overcoming indecisiveness, which to me seems to be a bigger challenge. I will write about putting off tasks next week.

These are some tips that you may find helpful in making decisions, when you are finding this difficult. We often avoid taking action when faced with a choice concerning a way forward, because of fear of failure – what if I make the wrong decision?, or lack of confidence – can I really do this?, or lack of information.

1.    My favourite, I mentioned in a previous blog is ‘Throw a Coin.’ If your confusion is about two competing decisions and not knowing which one to choose, find a coin. Decide on heads for one outcome, tails for the other, and tell yourself you’ll accept whichever way it lands as your answer. 

Throw the coin, but before you look at which way it’s fallen, ask yourself which way you would like it to land. Then you have an answer as to what you really want to do. Your reaction reveals what you truly want.

2.    Do you have enough information to make the decision? Do your research. Then make a list of the Pros and Cons and make sure you write them down as a list. This helps in making objective and sound choices.

3.    Face your fear by simply making the choice once and for all. Worry less about failing. There is no such thing as a wrong choice, just a detour in your life’s plan. Instead of driving yourself into a turmoil with all the things that could go wrong, keep saying to yourself – What If this all works out in my favour? Focus on a positive outcome, which is just as likely to happen as the opposite.

4.    It can help if you imagine the worst outcome possible, and then decide how you would overcome that.  This gives you the opportunity to remind yourself that you will find a way to overcome any eventuality that might happen as a result of you making that decision. No matter what happens you will and can surmount any obstacles in your way.

5.    If the confusion you are experiencing is just too overwhelming in the moment – allow yourself, if there is the time, to postpone the decision until your mind clears. Spend some time journalling your feelings and confusion. Get it out of your head and down onto paper. Don’t leave this too long – give yourself the luxury of a few days without thinking about the way forward.

6.    Think about your 3 main goals and priorities and ask yourself – will this decision help me to achieve these.? If the answer is no – then say No.

7.    Choose 3 people you trust to be your sounding board – ask for support from them and what they would do in your shoes. Voicing your fears out loud to others can help you move forward. Then go with the majority. Or if you react against the majority – you have an answer as to what you should do.

8.    Play devil’s advocate and argue for a decision from both perspectives- head versus heart (rationality versus emotionality) Trust your intuition when you make a choice. What is your gut instinct? Don’t fear the consequences. Just do it.

9.    Narrow down your selections to 3 options. Don’t doubt yourself. Evaluate the 3 then pick one. Once you’ve made the decision, let go of your concerns. Tell yourself that you choose this selection and move forward.

10. When you have made your choice -then affirm your decision. Tell yourself – ‘this feels good. I have made a sound decision and I will stand by this.’ If a critical negative voice creeps in with self-doubt, just keep affirming your decision.

Write out your affirmation on a card and leave it by your bedside at night – so you read it before you go to sleep. And carry it around with you in the daytime. Embed this decision into your consciousness.

You can read more tips on a useful website I used for my research – PsychCentral written by Dr Carla Marie Manly – a Clinical Psychologist.

Hope that you will find some of these tips useful in overcoming procrastination around decision making. They certainly helped me when I was vacillating about where we should move to, and whether Brecon was a feasible option, and then which house to choose. All mind-blowing stuff in the indecisiveness stakes. As you know – I made Brecon as my choice and we now have a comfortable home that met our criteria.

Author of ‘Wearing Red – One Woman’s Journey to Sanity’

Available at www.amazon.co.uk and www.browndogbooks.uk