Overcoming Anxiety

As our moving date is looming ever nearer – 27th/28th of July, I have to admit to feelings of rising anxiety. I’m doing my best in taking the packing step by step, day by day but this hasn’t been helped by the fact that both Jonny and I now have Covid. What great timing!!

We’re plodding on despite the symptoms, doing what we can with lots of rests in between. However, I have referred back to the tips for overcoming anxiety that I put together a couple of years ago, when I had a particularly bad period of anxiety.

It is proving helpful reading them through and putting them into practice. So, I thought I would write them up in this week’s blog, which might help those of you that like myself are prone to the odd bout of anxiety.

I did quite a bit of research around this area when I compiled these tips, and I would like to recommend one particular book that I found immensely helpful and took a lot of guidance from. Called ‘Anxiety Relief’ by John Crawford.

These are some of the tips he recommends interspersed with some of my own that have helped me.

As we become more anxious, we can easily become hyper-vigilant, perceiving danger at every turn. This can exacerbate the anxiety feelings. Negative scenarios act out in our imagination and we work ourselves into an anxiety state.

This can cause us to overestimate threat where there isn’t any - we feel fear with little cause.

When our emotional mind is in control we lose access to the part of our brain that controls our ability to create solutions. When we relax, control returns. Losing intellectual control makes us feel more anxious.

Using exposure practice – step by step. When I had my prolonged anxiety period, I was unable to leave the house or go out into the garden. I had an illogical fear that I would be locked out and unable to return. Once I was able to accept those feelings of anxiety, as being the way things were, I was able to desensitise myself safely in baby steps.

It's important to do this work from a place of compassion and patience for yourself. I set about doing small measurable goals that eventually allowed me to go outside again and feel safe. First, I took the key and my phone out into the garden with me and kept the door open. Then after a few days of doing that, I left the key behind. Then the phone. Then I was able to close the door.

I discovered that recovery takes time, patience and persistence in practising what works. Knowing that you’re working towards a solution to the anxiety can lift spirits and create real hope.

It became important for me to remember that an anxiety state is not permanent and can be healed. It means that something is out of balance.

My daily mantra was – I can get well. It will take time. I’m determined to recover. My fear can be managed.

Acceptance is the first step – keep saying to yourself - I hear and accept that you feel scared/ anxious. Step back from the feelings. and become an observer of yourself. Act as a supportive carer to the distressed part of yourself.

When my anxiety was prevalent, I used this Mindfulness technique. Say to the fear – I know you’re there. I am busy right now so take a seat on this bench and I’ll get you a cup of tea. Then after a while, show the fear out of the door.

Have you fallen into the unhelpful habit of automatically assuming the worst? Try finding positive ways of viewing the situation. Ask yourself is this a perception or a fact? Remember that how you feel is determined by the way you think

Don’t judge yourself harshly - we all have irrational thoughts.

Try focusing on what is working in your life. This can help alleviate some of the anxiety. Talk about what you do want to feel rather than about the anxiety – do this repeatedly - I am feeling relaxed rather than I am very anxious.

Keep saying to yourself: I can recover from anxiety. I can be well again.

Imagine how things will look when they go well.

Practice relaxation. I used meditative deep breathing. Breathing out – I let go of the anxiety. Breathing in – I surround myself with stillness.

Above all – Be patient with yourself.

I hope that you find some of these tips helpful when you’re feeling anxious. They certainly work for me.

Author of memoir ‘Wearing Red, One Woman’s Journey to Sanity’

Available at www.amazon.co.uk and www.browndogbooks.uk