Go With The Good

As many wise people have said – in order to be part of the creation of a culture of goodness and wellbeing in the world – where people care for themselves and each other- we can try to focus our individual energies on seeing the potential for goodness in everyone. This is the opposite of seeing others as broken and a mess and being obsessed with their failings. We can direct our attention to the good in others.

Gandhi said that we have to be the change we want to see in the world.

When I was complaining and feeling irritated with the faults of another, as I perceived them, Mandy, my Buddhist teacher suggested to me that each day I practise looking for the jewel in everyone I meet.

Easier said than done. All any of us can do is direct our hearts to this way of thinking one baby step at a time, one day at a time. I may be able to do this with a few people but then someone comes along into my world who is just the most difficult human being I’ve met. ‘Yes,’ Mandy says, ‘even him – look for the jewel in his heart and your own mindset will change as a result in time.’

To aid my own wellbeing and recovery, one of my AA sponsors suggested to me that for 24 hours I could try to speak well of others and refrain from any critical condemnations in my speech and thoughts. I don’t think I ever made it for that long. Sounds crazy but this is actually hard to do, for me anyway, which shows to me what a judgemental person I can be at times. Still, I am an imperfect human being who is doing my best.

Sometimes, it is myself who doubts my own goodness – so I have to be reminded of the jewel in my own heart. This self-denigration is not an intrinsic characteristic failing in my being. Instead, it is simply a habitual pattern that can be worked on and hopefully lessened if not eradicated.

And this seems to be the nub of these teachings – search for the basic goodness in others and ourselves, then our own critical attitudes will soften as a result. Our view of the world would change and like a pebble dropped in a pond, this altered world view would create the ripples that are ever widening and ongoing.

The Dalai Lama argues that our basic goodness does not disappear, it just gets covered up at times and we can work on methods to uncover it.

One of these methods is to do our best to refrain from perceiving ourselves as fundamentally flawed. We can search for the basic goodness within our own hearts.

And when we are able to do this, we will also be able to find this within every other human being.

As Pema Chodren says, we can’t be judgemental and friendly at the same time. We can learn to have a kind, friendly approach to our own uncomfortable feelings.

If I can hold this perception of looking with judgement at myself and other people with tenderness, then as Pema suggests, these feelings can be loosened and  even reduced.

She even goes as far as saying that how we feel about ourselves will determine the future of the world. Wisdom, caring and compassion, being the key ingredients of gradual change.

“We can radiate our basic goodness from our whole body, sending it out to more and more beings – across countries, continents, and worlds.”

Pema Chodron, Welcoming the Unwelcome.

What would happen if we could fundamentally believe that the quality of basic human nature is loving? How differently would we view the world and ourselves?

So, let’s try going for the good and see what happens.

Author of ‘Wearing Red, One Woman’s Journey to Sanity’

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