Comparing Damages Our Health

In my experience comparing ourselves with others damages our health and well-being.

Comparisons can be supportive if they motivate us to set some goals that we feel are achievable for ourselves. This would have a positive outcome.

For me, this is rarely the case. Comparing myself to another, whom I perceive to be better than me has the effect of destabilising confidence in myself.

Assumptions are made that they are brilliant at something and I am not, which can leave me feeling I simply do not match up to their standards. I just do not make the grade or ‘cut the mustard,’ as the saying goes. Result - I feel bad and de-motivated. Inferior in some way.

Whenever we compare ourselves or our situation to that of others, this can often  come from a place of envy, which is detrimental to our mental well-being. When this is the case, we can end up thinking that they are better than us. Which effectively translates as ‘I’m not good enough.’ I don’t match up to others.

What a waste of energy. We can remind ourselves that we’re only making comparisons with the ‘outside’ of other’s lives. That’s all we can see. We have no idea what their situation is really like. Huge assumptions are being made that would probably crumple under investigation. Their reality will be very different to the one we have imagined in our mind.

There are two sides to everything.

None of us can know what it is like inside someone else’s head and how they perceive themselves. Likewise, they are probably totally unaware that we are comparing ourselves to them and feeling ‘less than’ as a result.

Whenever you find yourself assuming you are inferior to another, remind yourself that comparisons are pointless. They just make you feel miserable. I would even go so far as to say that comparisons are odious.

If I compare, it is only myself that I am harming. Most of us put a front on when we face the world. When I’m feeling less than I often ask myself – what is wrong with me?

Why can I not be that confident, or that competent, or that good at public speaking, or socialising?

Sometimes when I’m being told of another’s success in an area in which I am struggling – like marketing my book – instead of feeling happy for them, I feel  resentful, envious and declare myself a failure.  

What I need to remember that someone else achieving a goal does not in any way diminish my own worth. We all have tremendous potential within us, which we could bring into reality if we weren’t too scared to make ourselves vulnerable.   

Every snowflake is different. Each fingerprint is different. Every person is different in their own way. We are unique individuals doing our best in an unequal world. We each have our own special qualities.

You can try to focus on the good things you have in your life right now. And all the achievements you have made in your own life step by step. Remind yourself of the good qualities that you have that make you unique and special. Use your Positive Feedback list (Blog 16th Feb 2022). Become aware of how you have developed into the powerful individual that you are today.

Each of us can focus on being who we are and excelling in that. We can develop a more stable sense of self when we have shifted our perspective from the outside to our inside. We can stay aligned to our own beliefs and values. Not those imprinted on us by others.

We are losing our power when we look outward for our validation, acceptance and respect.

Our contribution to the world is valuable when we are being ourselves. Every person is different even though we might share common problems. We all have value, exactly as we are.

All things are relative. Could it be possible that some people are envious of you? That they might wish they had your life and abilities.

Now there’s a thought.

Author of ‘Wearing Red - One Woman’s Journey to Sanity.’

Available from www.amazon.co.uk and www.browndogbooks.uk