Be Gentle With Yourself

After the business of Xmas and the New Year, it can be hard to ‘get back on track’ with our daily lives. Being gentle with ourselves is a good antidote as winter sets in.

Be kind rather than critical – especially if you have set yourself some unrealistic life intentions. Can we cultivate some joy in our lives rather than misery?

One way of being gentle with ourselves is to accept where we are and how things are right now and accept our present circumstances- whatever they might be. Then we can turn the compass a little and shift the perspective. Look for something joyful and focus on that. This can strengthen our sense of self. 

Wrap yourself up in self-love. I’ve talked before about developing a ‘blanket’ of self-love to literally wrap yourself up in – so that you experience the ‘alms of your own kindness’ (to use one of Jung’s phrases!)

Have a go at visualising your very own blanket of self-love and imagine yourself being wrapped up inside it, so that you feel yourself totally immersed in its warmth and luxurious safety.

It helps if you can really see the blanket:

·      What colour it is?

·      What does it feel like to the touch?

·      How heavy is it?

·      How large is it?

·      Where are you going to keep it?

·      How safe do you feel wrapped up in this way?

Remember that you can use this blanket any time you begin to feel alone or abandoned.

Sometimes when life shifts and changes rapidly, it can feel like you’ve lost your place, as if you’re a bit out of tune, out of rhythm, or out of step. You may at times doubt the course of your entire life. It is at periods like this that you need to take extra care of yourself. Be attentive to what you need. For whilst you may feel you can’t find your place, just remind yourself that this is because your place is changing.

When you don’t know what to do next, ease up on yourself. Be gentle. Breathe deeply. Light a candle. Read a poem. Burn some sage. If fear is present – see it, feel it, write it out. Have a dialogue between your fear and your Higher Self. Discover what your fearful part needs to reassure her.

The following visualisation, that I use frequently, might be a useful inner wisdom guide to help comfort you and wrap you up in self-love. Try it out.

Journey of Light Visualisation –Contacting your Inner Happiness

Sit in a comfortable place, where you know you won’t be disturbed. Light a candle in front of you so that you can clearly see the flame. Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths in and out. Relax your body on the out breath and do your best to let go of wandering thoughts as they arise.

Opening your eyes, look closely into the candle flame for a few moments.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself being truly happy.
Now imagine that happiness in the form of a small light in the distance.

Imagine that this light begins to travel towards you, slowly at first.
Breathe deeply and slowly. Let the light come even closer.

Keep your eyes closed and keep breathing deeply.
Now see the light right in front of you.

Slowly take the light inside yourself and feel the power of the light and the happiness surging through your body.

Feel that energy. Let it fill your whole body.

And when you’re ready return to the room - feel your feet on the ground.

You can repeat this journey of light visualisation daily to remind you of the power you feel when you contact and reclaim your inner happiness.

Flick the switch in the way you perceive the world and cultivate some joy in the life you have. Calm your anxiety. Reframe your thoughts with a positive response to change your mood.

So my wish for you this week is that you remember to be gentle with yourself. Wrap yourself up in self-love. I know I keep repeating this, but I really want you to hear this message. Loving yourself is a powerful tool, a powerful force for change.

Author of ‘Wearing Red, One Woman’s Journey to Sanity’

Available at www.amazon.co.uk and www.browndogbooks.uk