Relief For Desperate Times (Part One)

As I’m feeling low today, I’ve decided to share with you, what I call my First Aid Kit. I use this when my mental health is taking a battering, and everything around me looks dark.  

There are times when the other daily tools that I use for my general well-being don’t seem to be working and I can feel in a desperate space. We all have our rock bottom moments. Periods when life seems dull and difficult and we need to take a break from everyday activity.  

If you’re like me and experience extreme mood swings, the lows can sometimes feel insurmountable. A time to administer extra dollops of self-care and compassion. This is when I turn to these tools to help me re-balance and return to more of an even keel.

As there are 25 tools, I’ve spread them out over three separate, consecutive blogs.

My suggestion is that you use some of them when you’re in a dark pit and see how effective they are for you. Take what works and leave the rest. This way you can compile your own First Aid tool kit.

I know they work for me, which is the best recommendation I can give.  

1. CARRY A LIT CANDLE.

The flame of a candle can provide comfort in dark times, offering some encouragement that you’re not alone in this despair. There is something strangely reassuring about the flickering of the flame.

Try carrying around a small nite-lite holder, when you’re at home.

2. CARRY A TOUCHSTONE IN YOUR HAND.  

Carrying a personal talisman in your hand or pocket in tough times can help send a message to your brain that you’ll be OK. You’ve been here before and come through. You will survive this time as well. Mine is a small green marble buddha with arms stretched out above her head, representing my courage to keep going.

3. WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL.

Shout and scream on paper, with no restraint. Scrawl all over the page and swear to your heart’s content. No one is going to read this. Put the way you’re feeling down on paper and get it out of your head. I find that doing this can provide some release and distance from the grip of the emotional battering. Releases the valve of the pressure cooker slowly.

If your despair is connected to something that’s happened that you feel incapable of dealing with, try this writing tip. Write down the detail of the issue or event, describe what happened, and how you feel about it. Take a break from the writing for a while and then write again, in the same way. Repeat the process three or four times. When I do this, by the fourth time of writing, the emotional heat has often diminished. My perspective has shifted, or I’ve gained some fresh insight. Generally I feel a lot lighter.

4. USE A SALT LAMP.

When I’m in the caves, I keep close to the soothing orange glow of my salt

lamp. I  have one downstairs next to my favourite seat and one upstairs on my desk. The light is comforting and reassuring. Can help boost your mood. The lamp can also help to neutralise the effect of electrical gadgets, releasing negative ions which cleanse the air quality.

5. READ the BOOK “HELP, THANKS, WOW- 3 ESSENTIAL PRAYERS” by ANNE  LAMOTT   

I recommend that you buy this compact book, if you don’t already have it. When the clouds are looming, dip into its pages for support. I carry mine around with me, when I’m feeling low.  The first section is concerned with asking for assistance. Reading this can help you through the day and remind you that there can be a sense of letting go/freedom in hitting rock bottom.

6.  PRAY FOR HELP.

 When you’re desperate, praying is a way of asking somebody, anybody for  some  help. I often seek support from Beatrice (my guardian angel with ginger hair) or Tara (female  Buddha) or a Higher Power, basically anyone who happens to be listening. 

My  plea for help goes something like this:

‘Please help. I need a hand here. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared I’m going to push a self-destruct button. Help me find a way through this darkness. Give me some kind of clue as to what I can do. I don’t know how to deal with this situation.’  

It doesn’t matter if you don’t have any particular faith or religion. Anne Lamott says that prayer is a communication from the heart...a cry from deep within to Life or Love. What’s important is not what you say but that you’re talking, praying to someone or something outside of yourself. Pray for help even when it feels like your angel of faith (if you have one) has wandered off and deserted you.

Asking for help, in any shape or form, is not a sign of weakness but of strength.

7. READ SOME INSPIRATION CARDS OUT LOUD.  

Make yourself a set of inspiration cards from your favourite sayings, as messages of well-being to yourself to use when the clouds are around. Mine are on bright yellow cards. I carry them in a special pouch and read them out loud again and again, like mantras.  

These are some examples of the sayings that help me.

·      All shall be well, all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.  

·      Don’t judge me by my successes. Judge me by how many times I’ve fallen and got back up again.

·      There is always a Plan B.

·      Prayer is a way of saying I’m willing to be healed.

·      I make mistakes. That’s OK. I’m not perfect.

·      Desperate times require courageous solutions.

·      Hope is good for the soul.

·      What if this all works out well?

·      There is always a new beginning and a different end.

I hope you’ve found some of these useful. They have certainly helped me find welcome relief in desperate times.

Part Two of my First Aid tools will appear in my next blog in a week’s time.