Reframing Limiting Beliefs
Reframing is about making our beliefs work for us. We can interrupt our negative or limiting thought patterns and replace them with more empowering ones.
We carry our beliefs around with us wherever we go. We can decide which of them we want to keep because they support us, and which ones to discard because they are no longer useful.
Beliefs are not facts. They are emotionally held opinions that we take to be true and that can determine our subsequent actions.
With reframing we can saturate our minds with the thoughts we know will bring success.
The first step is to identify our limiting beliefs. Listen for the things that you think you know are true about yourself. Write down all the critical messages that you give yourself, and generalisations you make about the world or others.
e.g.:
I am too old to do that
I can never stick to exercising
I am a loser - nothing goes right for me
I can never make my mind up
This always happens
These usually pop up at times when you are feeling insecure, overwhelmed, uncertain, confused, helpless etc. Become aware of how you talk to yourself in your head about things you should or shouldn’t do, or things you think you’re doing wrong. Scribble them all down, don’t censor any. They are all valuable information which helps us to become aware of the ways we might limit ourselves.
Second step is to think about each limiting belief and ask yourself where this has come from. The references that have been said to you or about you by others, that helped you become certain about this belief.
Third step is to search for all the contrary evidence you can find to prove to yourself that this belief is not necessarily true. Write down all your answers to each step, as this helps with the reflection.
Fourth step is to reframe those beliefs that no longer serve you. Take each one in turn and replace it with a more positive empowering belief, which creates an alternative, positive viewpoint.
I never remember names. I am good at remembering names
I am a loser. I am excellent
I am useless at football I am a competent football player
I’m always broke I have enough money
It helps if each positive statement has three essential components:
1. The word ‘I.’
2. The present tense ‘am.’
3. The positive description – ‘a great singer.’
Write down each new statement about yourself.
Keep repeating the new belief to yourself - chant it. Affirm it to yourself out loud each day. Constant repetition will enhance your self-image and break into the closed loop of your belief systems
The next time you find yourself thinking in the old limiting way, interrupt the self-talk. Stop that voice in your head and replace it straight away with your new sentence - even if it’s not yet true.
What you are doing here is:
· recognising the old pattern,
· interrupting and breaking it,
· and then replacing it with your empowering belief.
When self-critical thoughts enter your mind, say to yourself:
‘Erase that thought. I am ……’ and add your new sentence.
Ask yourself, what are you willing to do differently to integrate this new empowering belief into your life transformation? Have you made the decision to change your internal self-image? The different vision of how you really are.
You could create a mental image of yourself actually doing and enjoying this new behaviour.
I like to carry cards with me that contain the new empowering beliefs so that I can constantly remind myself of who I am becoming.
As soon as you decide to change, you give yourself the freedom to choose and to enjoy empowering beliefs and behaviours.
To consolidate this process, write down three positive statements about yourself. They don’t have to be true at this stage. Use the present tense, as if they were already real.
It can take years to develop a limiting belief. So, changing this will take practice, persistence and determination. My message to you is keep at this reframing business. It does work.
Author of memoir, ‘Wearing Red – One Woman’s Journey to Sanity.’
Available from www.amazon.co.uk and www.browndogbooks.uk